It’s a word that we use a lot.
A state of being that we try to achieve.
But what does “being healthy” really mean?
Media and everything around us stakes it up to losing weight and eating well and being that younger you.
Endless articles and commercials about the perfect you – the lotions to use – the weight-loss and dieting programs to try – the new clothes to wear – the do’s and dont’s of eating and exercising.
So many of us try these things. Believe these things. Live by these things.
But to our own injury.
Now, understand, I think exercising and eating well and taking care of your body is very important. But it has it’s place.
Hear me out.
For a lot of my life, “being healthy” has been the goal.
I mean, the goal.
So much that it has consumed me… and haunted me… and eluded me…
And for a long time, I worked and sweated and cried and starved and beat myself up to achieve the world’s image of health.
I don’t think it’s bad to be healthy. But see – I was doing it in the wrong order – I was working from
when I should have been working from
But, like so many things, what I’ve been realizing is that healthiness needs to start on the inside – it needs to start in the deepest, most-inner core of myself.
If I work out to the max and acheive this “perfect” image and am, perhaps, the picture of happy and healthy on the outside… it’s not going to do much if I’m not healthy on the inside.
You see. For many years I pushed and contorted and molded myself into what I considered to be the best image. On the outside, (as I look back at pictures of that era) I think I was the closest to fitting that “runner” model I so idolized and desired – aka the poster child of “healthiness” that the world so upholds – but, on the inside I was so caught up and consumed and distraught over image and body and being healthy that I was blind to who I was.
Instead through my blind eyes I only saw hate and disgust and unworthiness in myself.
Maybe I looked healthy on the outside.
But I was chronically ill inside.
That illness – black poison coursing through my once brilliant red blood stream – convoluting and destroying and inking beauty into a film of black – it took over me. My mind and how I saw myself.
Even if I was achieving the world’s definition of “healthy” on the outside, I sure wasn’t healthy on the inside.
Trying to cover up ugly inside with “beauty” outside.
But God’s been speaking a new thing in me.
That I need to be healthy inside in order to be healthy outside.
I’m praying daily for wholeness and truth and freedom.
That He would help bring health to my core – how I see myself.
I still try to eat well and be active and make good choices… but I’m trying a new approach. A sustainable approach because my Source is sustainable and He is my Sustainer.
It’s not an easy battle most days but I have hope that the One who made me can make beauty out of my mess.
Praise the Lord!
“I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Ps. 139:14
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Is. 61:1-3